Thursday, September 9

Ravens and Black Crows

I'm in all black, that Jay-Z line playing over and over in my mind "All black everything." I'm angry. Not the adolescent mood swing rather an anger has been welling up in me the past few weeks threatening to burst its banks any moment without the blunt intensity, the raw unbridled fury of a teenager.

Why?
 I don't know. Rather I know perfectly well but I don't want to come to terms with the sources of my inspiring ire.

I can barely type actually, though this keypad of this comp in this dingy cyber cafe isn't helping.

Give me lease....release me to my anger. Allow me gop back out these hot streets of nairobi rapping along to Eminem's & Tupac's angriest songs. #FuckedUpMindState

Honnou

Rage. White-hot, angry rage twinged with a wistfulness that carries the potential to drown my will in pussification. I don't need happiness. I don't deserve it, no, but i also don't need it. It's always been me me me on my part. I mastered the art of breaking ties, severing emotion from what has to be done. It suits me perfect. This is my resolve. For the next week, this shall be my resolve. I shall wake up every morning and do push up while staring at this post. When i eat, before i go to sleep, when i'm in the loo about to take a shit. I shall live and breathe this resolve. For womanfolk is weak and but a weakness unto man. Clean cut ties with the two most troublesome, they with the highest propensity to torpedo my burj khalifa. The burj i sense i can be and beyond. Master the heart then master the flesh. Is it the other way around? The reincarnation of jesus said he'd mastered both. But he was a drunk. Here i am. On the precipice. Wish me luck. And see you'll on the other side.

Sunday, January 31

Abortion, The Conservative who sometimes goes the Liberal way

"...visiting the iniquity of the fathers upon the children, and upon the children's children, unto the third and to the fourth generation."
Genesis 34:7b


Abortion is illegal in Kenya. It is morally unacceptable by most (if not all, though I stand to be corrected) acknowledged religions worldwide. Even the so called backward and primitive African traditional customs deign the murder of the unborn. Of course, one might point out that it would have been impossible to carry out a premeditated miscarriage then... but that would force me to wax on about the knowledge of the witchdoctor in herbology and the availability of plants and animal products that could kill a foetus if the carrier (read pregnant African mother) were so inclined, and we wouldn't need that particular diatribe now would we? So it is safe to say that basically, all major schools of thought consider abortion illegal under ALL circumstances. Moving on to the 21st century....


Girl meets boy. Girl likes boy. Girl has sex with boy. Boy GETS girl pregnant (don't you just looove how men have been vilified in this era of female empowerment?) Girl cries because really, she is but a girl, living under her parents care, not to mention roof. What does girl do? She asks herself, "What would Jesus do?" or if she is a wearer of the hijab, "What does the Quran say? Well....lets do this, we'll see what the Quran says as Girl weighs her pros and cons since the Quran is wise and abundant with information on the topic (Christians note!)


Girl: It is morally and legally wrong to terminate a human life.
Conscience (hereafter, B): Life begins at birth. And just what does the law know about raising a child?
Girl: Life begins at inception i.e. fertilization.
B: If you wanna be cerebral and anatomical about it then life begins at production of insidious sperm and willing ovum.
Quran 17:33 "You shall not kill any (Nafs) person - for GOD has made life
sacred - except in the course of justice……."



Girl: I will not be able to provide for it! I am but a child myself!
B: There's always adoption, Industrialized countries have made it easy enough to legally give away your child for abortion if you wish not to keep the bastard child.
Girl: I live in bloody Kenya! Then, I have to consider the fact that when I grow up I may want to get involved in the child's life, even want it back as my own once more.
B: Er....
Quran 17:31 "You shall not kill your children due to fear of poverty. We provide for them, as well as for you. Killing them is a gross offense"


I could go on and on with the Girl vs Boy...sorry, B also known as Conscience discussion but why take all the fun out of it while I can use juicy adjectives and vocabulary while jabbing at religion and society at the same time? Lookit, if you consider abortion as murder claiming a fertilized egg is a human life the I shall say that the use of contraception is in legal terms conspiracy to commit first degree murder since the male knowingly prevents sperm from entering a woman's intimate 'un-ventureds' to deliberately prevent a child being born. Also, every time a guy is on a ka-dry spell and slaps the monkey, that is murder. Those sperm he just deposited into whatever means he so chooses were in fact children-unborn! And in the same vein (teehee!), wet-dreamers should be put to death! By God! Let me not get started on women and their notorious monthly serial killings in the guise of menstruation! Oh, yes, all gay men should be put to death as well! Lesbians can be given time to reform. There's no point in purposefully wasting a perfectly precious and productive...


What about adoption? Isn't that just the day-taker! Nah. Statistics show that very few women who give birth choose to give up their babies - less than 3% of white unmarried women and less than 2% of black unmarried women. American statistics yes, but this is because Kenyans don't see the point of carrying out such a survey. It is but human instinct to, pardon my French, own yo shit! (c.f DaGi's note about bowel pride and such)


Let's consider a pregnant teenager. Why should she be forced to give birth to a mistake and care for it while she may have no way to support it? I mean, she has to halt her studies, get a job, take on emotional and psychological burdens she was not ready for yet just because of society's skewed sense of morality??! I mean come on! We should punish this kid and her kid just because she tripped and fell over an ejaculating penis??! Punish her if you must but really! Who are we to do God's good work of punishing 3 generations just because she had unsafe sex as a teenager? The child will undoubtedly suffer hate from her mother (even if not direct), poverty, and shall be raised by an immature person. It too shall be very effed and thus produce an effed offspring. This 3rd generation is the decisive one. They mostly grow up a bit less messed up than their parents so they might either raise good kids or only slightly fucked up kids. It's simple logic really, not rocket actuarial science.


Another school of thought (Reaganomics) suggests that legalized abortion reduces crime, almost dramatically. It is said that those who are duty-bound by law not to abort give birth to said effed kids who then 6 out of 10 times grow up to be the rabid hounds of crime especially in the housing projects and low income settlements. If we do legalize abortion, these prospective rapists, murderers and drug fiends will be chemically neutralized as is their fate anyway, so better sooner than 100 rapes into their miserable lives.


I think, the management of a pregnancy is up to the givers of the life. The unfortunate (or fortunate) victims of our genital destinies should not be told what to do with an unborn by religion zealots {who hold celibacy and anti-abortion arguments as if that isn't an oxymoron in itself} nor by their parents {who raised the friggin' fornicators} nor laws that were conjured in an age of intolerance. Why suffer unto teenage-parenthood and make the child pay for your mistake, all 3 minutes of it? Thus I call myself, "the conservative who sometimes goes the liberal way". You have to say it all the way, like "A Pimp Named Slickback".

Ode To The Hemp

So, I'm holding weed on my one hand and I'm staring at my notepad on the other. Being the sleuthing genius I am, I figure Ceiling Cat is trying to tell me to write about weed for they who've never inhaled Silliness , and Basement Cat is in on it too, trying to re-tempt the quitters of hemp. Just how gay is that! Abstaining from Maryjane , deliberately! Anyway...(said in a la-di-da kinda way)
Side note: Ceiling Cat and Basement Cat are best of pals.

Now, hands up if you've never smoked up to the point of getting stoned. Humour me. Good. May those with their hands up please humour me a while longer. Stand up (oh, and you can put your hands back down) and twirl for a minute. Spin in one direction with increasing velocity for a full minute while I speak to those whose hands stayed down.

If you didn't raise your hand, you bear me witness that the best kush erases your best memories in your choicest vocabulary right? You know, the few words tucked safely away only to be used on that one hot smart chic in the world who is said to be but a myth because her sightings in the real world are, in years, few and far in between. As a blogger, that's the only reason I do bullshit weed. I love my words. The best sex I ever had is with words, when I lay them out perfectly spread across a sheet pure and white, rhythmically and gradual in intensity to a final climactic...Welcome back virgin-potheads! So nice of you to join us once again. I'm sure your heads are collectively woozy and limp. Speaking of which, a limpness of dick is also referred to as light-headedness.

Where were we? Oh yes! The sensation of dizziness immediately after the minute of spinning was up is exactly what getting stoned feels like. So my question is: why would anyone wanna do that to themselves and how the hell exactly does one get addicted to that?!
But seeing as I went through so much trouble getting this joint I might as well smoke up. My next weed blog-post shall be about being a best man at a wedding, HIGH! :-)
Peace out!
Yaaah!


PS: I do not smoke weed and I do not advocate it. Marijuana is illegal in Kenya. I am a good, law abiding Kenyan citizen and shall not be held liable for any partaking of this substance. May the Force be with you all.

Friday, August 21

A Resignation Letter

The life in me has been paled out.
My spirit hollowed out by the immensity of burdens that everybody carries.
Why should I go on?
Why should I go home today?
What is the point of living if I only live not to cause the few that care worry?

I am immensely tired.
The sun may rise in the east but atleast it settles in a final location.
And so it is with life, at the very end there is but death.
A death I so rightly deserve, not for my various inadequacies.
No.
I deserve rest.
To drift off into a sleep so peaceful that from which there is no return.
No tomorrow morning.
Nothing but sweet darkness.

In your arms I commend my spirit.
But for they that believe not in Alderon...
There is a welcoming nothingness whose allure I want to give into.
I cannot go on anymore.

JOB 38:11

Monday, August 3

Story of My Life

Wreathed in immense pain
She abstains from you
For what is there to gain
In so vain a side of you?
Wastes her life chained
To an idea ingrained in her, you
Of a much simpler time
When her heart was mine

I'm numb to all
Most certainly to you
If I only never did fall
Did fall for you
I have longed for your call
To ask me back to you
To a much simpler time
When your heart was mine

We're all looking at the past
In all us, there's a you
Struggling with a question
we're afraid to ask:
"Will you?"
Yet we sigh and smile past
The ache in our hearts
Of a much simpler time
When your heart was mine.


Crap. I can't barely write anything decent enough to be termed as 'turd'. *sigh*

Friday, February 6

R.E

Scratch my wrist with a ball point
My crimson reasoning flows
Writing like this makes me whole
Till all my emotions I let go.
I thought I'd write for you, instead
I dig in deeper just for me
There's something poetic about bloodletting
I'm being as poetic as can be.

For Plugie

He yearned without bitterness
That which tasted sweetest
Yea, Sweetness
Whoever loved that loved not at first sight?
I saw
H.E.R
Eyes locked
Smiles formed
Hearts skipped beats
And the world took a breath...

Randalf Ethereal

The question is;
is having had and lost really better than not having had at all?

Monday, September 22

An Honourable Heartache

There comes a time when deeds must needs be done,
When the heart dies, and one languishes in the ashes of cremated rapports.
I have done my duty, lit the acquaintancy and watched it diminish into flickering embers.
All I ask is you do yours, lie there still and not rock the urn.
Isn't it but natural to defend yourself from that what harms?
You once said you didn't want to hurt me...anymore.
I once said, I'd support you in any decision you make.
This is my way of supporting you, in the most natural way I know.
Let distance mark our wishes, and wishes our lies.


"For all of my life I have searched for your face
and now I have seen it
I've now seen the smile, the eyes,
felt the wondrous embrace of the face I've been looking for
my soul has searched forever for the luminous face that I now behold before me..."
Jalal ad-Din Rumin