Ten Things I've Learnt This Past Month

There comes a time every month or so when a teenager feels too important to be bothered by mundane things like love. Yes, I do have a blog for inane ramblings like these but I feel like writing this over here so bear with me or die!

Ten things that I've learnt this past month, the 10th being something I learnt today on NatGeo. I probably have too much time on my hands but since I've vowed to keep my phones off for a week or two...I have thus immersed myself in the learning of SHIT as follows:

10. Cain & Abel fought over their twin sister Adah. Or was it Zillah. Anyway, Moses being the author of the Books of the Torah took Egyptian oral tradition and added it as part of Israelite tradition. That was some shit.

9. Prince Charles' great grandfather had an affair with Princess Camila's great grandmother. Their love lies in the family.

8. I have a big head.

7. David Koresh firmly believed that he was a modern day Cyrus the Great & was assassinated by the FBI because firstly they could and secondly to avenge the four ATF officers who died fighting him. I also learned that ATF stands for Alcohol, Tobacco & Firearms.

6. Marilyn Monroe had pointy titties. She was assassinated because she knew too much about JFK and his brother and their dealings. They shoved barbiturates up her ass (!) after they'd killed her to make it look like suicide.

5. God doesn't care about my uncertainties.

4. Neither do the girls who are "stalking" me.

3. I hate lesbians. This is not because they repulse me, all sexually active women repulse me, I just hate the double-standard stance the world has taken on homosexuality.

2. Two words: Squidgygate transcript.

1. ALL WOMEN ARE BITCHES. I have now said it on the net so its official. (Since the bearers of Oestrogen chorus eternally that all men are dogs -they say this disregarding their fathers, brothers, uncles etc- and no one dares correct them I have stated the flipside of the coin and dare anyone contradict)

That said, have a looong holiday. Cheers.