Ode To The Hemp

So, I'm holding weed on my one hand and I'm staring at my notepad on the other. Being the sleuthing genius I am, I figure Ceiling Cat is trying to tell me to write about weed for they who've never inhaled Silliness , and Basement Cat is in on it too, trying to re-tempt the quitters of hemp. Just how gay is that! Abstaining from Maryjane , deliberately! Anyway...(said in a la-di-da kinda way)
Side note: Ceiling Cat and Basement Cat are best of pals.

Now, hands up if you've never smoked up to the point of getting stoned. Humour me. Good. May those with their hands up please humour me a while longer. Stand up (oh, and you can put your hands back down) and twirl for a minute. Spin in one direction with increasing velocity for a full minute while I speak to those whose hands stayed down.

If you didn't raise your hand, you bear me witness that the best kush erases your best memories in your choicest vocabulary right? You know, the few words tucked safely away only to be used on that one hot smart chic in the world who is said to be but a myth because her sightings in the real world are, in years, few and far in between. As a blogger, that's the only reason I do bullshit weed. I love my words. The best sex I ever had is with words, when I lay them out perfectly spread across a sheet pure and white, rhythmically and gradual in intensity to a final climactic...Welcome back virgin-potheads! So nice of you to join us once again. I'm sure your heads are collectively woozy and limp. Speaking of which, a limpness of dick is also referred to as light-headedness.

Where were we? Oh yes! The sensation of dizziness immediately after the minute of spinning was up is exactly what getting stoned feels like. So my question is: why would anyone wanna do that to themselves and how the hell exactly does one get addicted to that?!
But seeing as I went through so much trouble getting this joint I might as well smoke up. My next weed blog-post shall be about being a best man at a wedding, HIGH! :-)
Peace out!
Yaaah!


PS: I do not smoke weed and I do not advocate it. Marijuana is illegal in Kenya. I am a good, law abiding Kenyan citizen and shall not be held liable for any partaking of this substance. May the Force be with you all.